No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
I need moral support for this bender
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
All of my Tinder matches have neck tattoos. It's like God wants me to go to jail again.
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
Randomize
