If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
Randomize
