There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
You guys I wore sweatpants to work today because I simply forgot to put on real pants and I had a weed brownie and a juice box for breakfast. I am not ready for parenting.
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
Randomize