my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
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