So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
Randomize
