the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
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