Quick, to the slutcave!
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
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