and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
Randomize
