Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
EVERY guy that's EVER been in my vagina has texted me tonight for a booty call. Narrow it down to the greatest hits or just work in timeline order?
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
Randomize
