I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
Randomize
