He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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