i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
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