Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
Randomize
