You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
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