I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
Randomize
