We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
I'm not looking forward to the waking up early part. Or actually the wedding part. Or the reception part. But I am looking forward to the meaningless sex with some random guy I meet at the reception part.
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
Randomize
