my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
Randomize
