lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
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