I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
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