Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
He has the fingertips of a God
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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