really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
Randomize
