I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize
