friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
Randomize
