your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
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