Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
Quick, to the slutcave!
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
Randomize
