I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
Randomize
