OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
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