Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
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