Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
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