The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
Randomize
