wat bout pragnant strippers??
I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
Pants are for mortals
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
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