Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
Randomize
