i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
I am such a fucking liability at weddings. I ended up making out with this married 40-year-old that told me that basically if I came home with him and be a sex partner for him and his wife, I would never have to pay for anything again. Extremely considered it.
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize
