just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
Randomize
