it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
Randomize
