JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
This is the high leading the old right now
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
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