I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
Panda onesie. Pizza. Netflix. Wrapped up like a burrito. Screw you guys and your cute relationships THIS IS WHAT INFINITE HAPPINESS TASTES LIKE
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize
