I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
Randomize
