he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
Randomize
