Non-Jews are for practice
M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
Randomize
