Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
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