Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
I'll have you know...trying to masturbate while a song about jesus is stuck in your head is next to impossible
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
you called me at 4 am to tell me you found the cracker barrel location where we'll have lunch next week
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
Randomize