3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
Is it acceptable to pay for WiFi on flights solely for the purpose of getting on Tinder to find a sugar daddy on the plane that doesn’t mind upgrading me to first class?
Do it. You’re flying for two weddings. You’re gonna need that first class.
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
Randomize
