I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
I need to stop coming to work sober
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
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