Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
I made friends with the delivery guy because he had beautiful dread locks and was a Zelda fan. He texted me after he left saying he wasn't trying to be creepy but we should be friends. We're hanging out tomorrow.
How does this kind of shit happen to you?!
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize
