ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
Randomize
