she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
Randomize
