The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
He felt like a one man threesome
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
My arm is completely dead, never again will i give you a 20 minute hand job. You better have enjoyed that asshole. I have to text with my left hand now.
Randomize
