I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
Randomize
