im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
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