it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
I wish the iPhone would register texts from 11:59 as "Last Year" instead of "Yesterday."
Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
When you wanted to give that guy at McDonalds your number you asked the cashier if you could borrow "a pen or just like a straw with his blood on it". He gave you a pen.
Randomize
