And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
Randomize
