Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
Randomize