it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
Can I color on your dick again?
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
Randomize
