I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
My mother's day gift to my mother is to promise never to tell her 95% of the stories I've accumulated in my life.
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
Randomize
