FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
Randomize
