I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
Randomize
