there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
Randomize