worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
Randomize
