Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
Randomize
