I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
they're like a gay fantastic four
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
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