the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
Edward fifth and chaser hands
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
I would ride that face into the sunset
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
I just learned that the grill marks on a Burger King burger patty are actually previously burnt on there with a radioactive spray-on liquid and McDonald's french fries are actually 5% potato.
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