after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
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