that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
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